Erika Kirk and Megyn Kelly’s Charlie Kirk
A “Historic” Premiere
ABC’s debut of The Charlie Kirk Show, hosted by Erika Kirk and Megyn Kelly,
reportedly shattered records with “over one billion views in five days,” a figure so big Nielsen statisticians “fainted.”
ABC even claimed it surpassed the moon landing and the Super Bowl.
A Wild First Episode
The show mixed tribute, politics, and talk show flair.
Kid Rock played guitar, Trump declared it “bigger than Titanic,”
Tucker Carlson read scripture, and Elon Musk promised Teslas that only play Charlie Kirk podcasts.
Global Reactions
Fans bought “Episode One Billion” hoodies for $1,200, while #1BillionPatriots trended worldwide.
Leaders weighed in: King Charles admitted he didn’t know “what a Charlie Kirk is,” Trudeau launched a flop talk show,
and the Vatican called the program “miraculous.”
What’s Next
ABC renewed for ten seasons, teasing Elon Musk’s Kirk hologram, Tulsi Gabbard yoga, and possibly a Taylor Swift ballad.
As Erika Kirk declared, “A billion people can’t be wrong.”
