When Grown Kids Lean Too Hard on Parents
Parenting Grown Children: Support with Limits
Parenting doesn’t end at 18—it often gets harder as children become adults, facing independence and identity challenges that can strain families. One mother faced this when her 21-year-old son, frustrated over not having a car, demanded she buy him one or he’d move in with his mostly absent father. She felt “torn between support and feeling manipulated.”
Experts say the key is setting boundaries. “Financial help—especially major expenses like a car—is not automatic.” Honest conversations about expectations help shift the parent-child dynamic.
Encouraging accountability is also crucial. Instead of refusing outright, parents can offer to match savings or help explore financing options. This approach teaches problem-solving and responsibility.
Lastly, emotional support should remain steady. As one expert notes, “what they need most is confidence from their parents—not material help.” Guiding without rescuing builds trust and prepares adult children to stand on their own.
